Blog #3- Courage

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'." -Mary Anne Radmacher

The quote reminds me of when I had to gather the courage before going into surgery unexpectedly. It was a Tuesday afternoon, and I began to feel very ill, my stomach was causing me excruciating pain, but I proceeded through the rest of the school day. After school comes around and I'm doubled over with pain. I had never felt anything like it before. It was so unbearable that I was at the point of tears. Normally, I'd go straight to play rehearsal, but today, I needed to go home right away. I called my mom and she picked me up. She took one look at me and knew I wasn't well. I knew myself, that this was nothing I've experienced before. I had a nasty feeling of what my problem was, appendicitis. It's quite common actually, but it is still frightening. My mom took me straight to the doctor and before I knew it, I was in the Valley Hospital hooked up to IVs. Nurses were ordering an ultra sound already and the attending surgeon was examining my abdomen. He told me it was most likely appendicitis so I hit that diagnosis on the nose. I became extremely frightened at that moment when they told me I needed to have surgery to remove the appendix ASAP. Not even four hours ago I was in school! It all happened so quickly that I had no time to mentally prepare myself for going into surgery. I had forgotten what it felt like to undergo anesthesia, I had forgotten how frightening the whole process was. What if they mess something up? What if I never wake up and never get to see my family again? I was extremely tempted to just decline the surgery even though it was absolutely necessary to receive. I had to muster up a lot of courage to say "Bye, see you when I wake up. I love you guys," to my family. It was a routine surgery but I was still extremely scared. I needed that roar of courage in order to go through with it. And once that courage comes to you, you realize you are able to accomplish things you never thought possible or that seemed too outrageous to experience. But I did it and everything went smoothly. I woke up to see my family standing right at the end of my bed. Sometimes you need that boost of courage to accomplish what is unerring.